Thursday, April 29, 2010

Is it best to go back to your first love? My thoughts at the end of junior year

There’s one week left of the semester, but boy has this semester changed my plans.

I’ve always had a solid vision of where I was going. At six or seven, I knew I wanted to be a lawyer. One day, I would investigate the biggest scandals and cross-examine the highest-profile suspects, and then, with some brilliant closing statement, I’d win my big-time cases and bring justice to the world, time and time again, just like in the movies.

So at one of my early high school advisor meetings, when asked what I wanted to study in college, I replied with a self-assured, “Law.” But I was quickly informed that pre-law wasn’t much of an undergraduate major and that I should pursue something else I enjoyed. Actively involved in the yearbook at the time, I realized that editing and production also got my heart pumping, and without much further thought, my plans were swiftly altered—I would be a magazine editor extraordinaire, living the glamorous New York City life and running a magazine with the most beautifully designed pages of captivating content that readers nationwide would adore. Another plan for the movie-perfect life.

And for five years, between my journalism studies and my exciting intern work, everything has seemingly fallen into place, all according to plan. 

Or so it seemed until the beginning of this semester.

Kicking off an internship with my dream magazine seemed too good to be true—until I realized that the work was nothing like anything I’d done and loved before, and that below all the coats of brand-name glitz and sparkle was a position I really didn’t want or enjoy. And while this has not diminished my love of working in the magazine industry (as I’ve been exceptionally lucky with other awesome positions), it did give me the opportunity to take a step back and assess what I really want to do after graduation.

For one, I noticed a bunch of my friends preparing for the LSATs, something they had never before expressed any interest in whatsoever. I also began to receive subtle hints from family and close friends that it was about time I returned to my first dream—and my inevitable future—of becoming an attorney.

The new semester also brought along a new course on Ethics and First Amendment Law that was supposed to emphasize the importance of solid and moral reporting and underline the obligations of a free press. But more than the journalistic side, I quickly fell in love with the laws and court workings and rules and rationalizations, which suddenly had me doubting everything I’d been working towards for years. I found myself fascinated by the debates of ethics and the intricacies of law, and despite my extensive education in media and journalism, I was cheering for the underdogs, convinced of the injustices that so many citizens faced at the hands of the mass-media.

So while I can’t deny that I’ve enjoyed my writing and reporting classes, and while I can’t say I’ll give up on the magazine industry that I’m so fascinated with and passionate about, I also can’t deny the appeal of law and debate that I was undeniably drawn to from my earliest years. And as the semester comes to a close, and thoughts of graduation begin to flicker in the distance, I start to question—which passion do I pursue? Which plan do I follow? Or for the first time ever, should I just go with the flow?

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